Guacamole

Guacamole:

The Rustic Delight

One of my favorite things on this Earth is guacamole. I'm quite certain I could eat it every day and never get tired of it. It's such a simple and easy thing to make. Not too easy to mess up but stranger things have happened. I've have some pretty funky guac in my day.

I'm always dumbfounded when I hear people say they hate it. Or that it tastes gross. I don't know why that shocks me but it does every time. I always think there's something wrong with that person. I wouldn't think that if they said soup or cereal or lasagne. But guacamole? Come on man! I know, it's kinda weird, but I yam what I yam. A ga ga ga. (sorry for the lame Popeye reference). On my way home the other day, I was listening to the radio and there are these two deejay's in the afternoon that were going on about how they hate it. Both of them. That's downright un-American, if you ask me. I actually switched over to the pop station. And if you know me at all, that's a pretty powerful statement. 

In days of old, I was the type of guy who'd buy of those guacamole flavor packets they usually sell right next to the avocados in the supermarket. And they served their purpose for the times I used them. But I've always had a much greater sense of accomplishment when I was able to create something on my own, without the assistance of a flavor packet full of a mysterious powdery substance. Yeah, it takes longer, there's more effort, it requires thought, etc. But in the end, it's so much better. 

Before writing this post, I scooted about the internet to see if I could find any interesting tidbits regarding this amazing treat. But alas, I wasn't able to dig up anything too remarkable. From what I was able to gather, and I'll make this quick, it was invented by the Aztecs and dates back over 500 years. Several sites mention that the Spaniards first came across it when they paid their little visit to the Aztecs. Curiously enough, that too was about 500 years ago. Who knows how long the Aztecs were making it before then. Oh yeah, and the word guacamole is derived from two Aztec words meaning "mashed testicles". Mmm mmm good!  

For the record, I like my guac a little more rustic. I like it chunky and I like the occasional crunch of a green onion or a little piece of jalapeno (which I totally forgot to put on the plate in the photo above, duh). I've had the guacamole that is mashed completely smooth and it's ok but I think a superior guac has texture. It's mashed but only about halfway. And then there's the question of lemon vs. lime. Me? I prefer the lime. I like the flavor a bit more and it gives me an excuse to make margaritas with the leftovers. Of course, the 28 limes I bought may have been a bit of overkill but hey, my blender sports 3 horsepower. Grunt grunt (sorry for that lame Tim Allen reference).

Now, before you make this guacamole, throw out all your other guac recipes because this will be your new "go to" recipe. Trust me. 

Ingredients: 

6 medium avocados (5 if they are larger) 
juice from 1 half a lime
1 tsp of salt (I use a seasoning salt called Johnny's. Better flavor than salt and less sodium) 
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 tsp of hot pepper sauce (Tabasco, Tapatia, etc.)
1/2 cup of cilantro leaves, chopped (from about 10 sprigs)
2 Roma tomatoes, seeded and chopped
2-3 green onions, chopped
1-2 jalapenos, chopped
3 garlic cloves, minced

To make the guacamole: 

In a bowl, add chopped avocados, lime juice, salt, pepper, and hot pepper sauce. Using a potato masher, mash the contents into a rough mash. Leaving the mixture half mashed and half chunky. 

Add the remaining ingredients and fold them in using a spoon, being careful not the mash the avocado any further. 

Serve with chips you stole from the Mexican restaurant.