Eggs Californian

Eggs Californian:

Not Eggs Benedict 

So I searched the net looking for this combination of ingredients and Eggs Californian was the match I found. Which totally sucks because really I wanted to call it Eggs Fuentes. Yes. Vanity is my prison. But alas, some other shbag named it before me. Shbag, you ask? Ok. Definition: Shbag - the second syllable of douchebag. You see, everyone says "douchebag" to describe an undesirable person. Personally, I find the term itself it rather undesirable. Hence, instead of calling someone a douche, which is both trashy and cliche, I choose to call them "shbags". Same thing, just cooler. It's a thing. You heard it here first. Spread the word. My hope is that 5 years from now some road-rager rolls down his window, shakes his fist at me and screams "You Shbag!!!" Then and only then will I know that I have truly accomplished something great. 

Eggs Californian is a derivation of the more common Eggs Benedict. As per Wikipedia, there are two conflicting stories behind the creation of this dish, Eggs Benedict in particular. Story A: Some shbag (see how it flows?) named Lemuel Benedict claimed that he had went into the Waldorf Hotel in 1894 hoping to find a cure for his morning hangover. So he ordered "buttered toast, poached eggs, crisp bacon, and a hooker of Hollandaise". A hooker of Hollandaise? What the Hell is that? Story B: This other shbag they called Pope Benedict XIII really dug this dish and he ordered it all the time. Kind of a lame story. Anticlimactic, as it were. (Am I gonna get Sinead O'Conner lash back on this post?...I hope not)

This recipe is an easy one. Everyone always says that Hollandaise is somewhat difficult to make. No it's not. It's easy. The only key is attention. If you just pay attention, you'll do well. And as with anything, you need a pinch desire. If you desire to do well, you will. Whether it's Eggs Benedict, Eggs Californian, or Eggs Fuentes, you gotta "love" it. If you don't, failure is eminent. If you do, success is almost unavoidable. So pay attention. Got it? Good.

The recipe for the Hollandaise sauce I stole from Tyler Florence. Most recipes for this sauce are pretty similar. Hollandaise is a simple sauce with few ingredients. So there's not too much room to move ingredient-wise. This one is straight forward and it's tasty. You can play around with adding a dash Worchestershire sauce, Tobasco, etc. But sometimes, simpler is better. I admit, many moons ago when I was first learning to cook, I used to overcomplicate recipes thinking it would add "complexity". Sometimes it worked. Most of the time, it didn't. So don't overcomplicate it. This is definitely one that doesn't need it.  

Most Eggs Benedict / Californian type dishes will call for English muffins as the bread of choice but a friend of mine told me she'd recently had it in a restaurant over focaccia. That really intrigued me so I used focaccia in this dish. However, I think the place I bought the bread from just used ciabatta dough and made focaccia from it. As a result, my wife, a.k.a The Royal Taster, pointed out to me that it was a little tough to cut through and didn't soak up the Hollandaise quite as well an English muffin would have. I had to agree with her. On the other hand, the focaccia did add a nice flavor element that the English muffin didn't. In the end, it's up to you. Both have their ups and downs. Or maybe I just need to find a better focaccia next time. 

Eggs Californian

Ingredients:

• 1 stick of unsalted butter, melted
• 4 eggs yolks
• 1 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
• 1 tsp salt (or to taste)
• 1/4 tsp black pepper (or to taste)
• pinch of cayenne
• 1 1/2 Tbsp of white vinegar
• 4 eggs
• 1 avocado, peeled and sliced
• 4 (or more) slices of tomato (I like to use Romas which usually require 2 thin slices per muffin half)
• 2 English muffins OR 2 muffin-sized pieces of focaccia bread
• chives, for garnish (optional - I had them in my garden so I figured what the heck)  

Preparation: 

To make the sauce:

1. Place your butter in a bowl and microwave it for about 45 seconds until it's just melted. You don't want it boiling hot, just melted. 

2. Vigorously whisk the eggs yolks with the lemon juice in a stainless steel mixing bowl until the mixture is doubled in volume, about 3-4 minutes. 

3. Place the bowl with the egg mixture over a saucepan of barely simmering water. Make sure the bowl isn't touching the water as this will scramble your eggs. Continue to whisk the eggs rapidly being careful not to let the bowl get too hot, as again, your eggs will scramble. If you feel it's getting too hot, simply lift the bowl off the saucepan and allow to cool for a few seconds.

4. Slowly pour your butter into the egg mixture, a few tablespoons at a time, all the while continuing to whisk the mixture until it thickened and doubled in volume. Whisk in the salt, pepper, and cayenne. Keep warm until you're ready to serve. However, don't make the sauce too soon in advance. You really want to serve this sauce as soon as possible so poach your eggs, plate and serve immediately afterwards.

To poach the eggs:

1. To poach the eggs, I always just use the same simmering water that was used under the mixing bowl with the Hollandaise sauce. Add the vinegar to the water and stir gently to mix. You want to add your eggs as gently as possible to avoid excessive spreading of the whites. This is what the vinegar does, it helps to coagulate the whites quickly to minimize that. I strongly recommend placing each egg in a very small bowl and gently dropping them in one at a time as close to the water level as you can get it. I usually just dip the lip of the bowl right into the water and drop them in that way. You can then use a slotted spoon to very gently pull the white inwards toward the yolk if that helps. 

2. Let the eggs poach for 3 1/2 to 4 minutes but no longer. If you do, your yolks will harden and that won't be good. You want the whites cooked through but you want those yolks nice and runny. Use your slotted spoon to remove the eggs from the pot one at a time. You can very gently drop the eggs onto a paper towel to remove and discard the ugly bits of the whites.

3. Slice your English muffin or focaccia into two halves and toast. Place them on your plate and top with the avocado and tomato. Then place one poached egg on each half. Finally, drizzle your Hollandaise over the top and serve immediately.   

Serves: 2

Vegetable Pot Pie

Vegetable Pot Pie:

Ever So Comfortable

Before I get into this, I want to come clean. This is a total comfort food. Typically, comfort foods are not those you might find on the "healthy choices" menu. But sometimes, we don't want to simply feed our bodies. We want to feed our souls. Sometimes it's nice to just eat something without the constant thought of whether or not it has too much saturated fat, sodium, or cholesterol. So today (but today only) I declare: "Caution be damned! Let's live! Let's feed our souls with reckless abandon! Then after that, let's go to the pub and get hammered!"

I have mentioned, in past postings, the tale of an epic battle with my wife over mushrooms. I love them in spaghetti sauce. On salads. Sauteed and strewn atop an omelette. Marinated, skewered, and grilled. Any application you can think of, I'll probably dig it. However, she will never "dig it", as it were. So, alas, sometimes I just gotta give in, if only to make her happy, and leave them out.......or do I?

 

While there are no mushrooms in this recipe, I do use a mushroom stock. It adds that certain level of "meatiness" to the dish. For me, this is necessary in a dish that is typically protein-centric. When I first went vegetarian, I tried all the faux meats. The Tofurkeys, The tofu dogs. And quite frankly, I was appalled. Shocked even. Are these people seriously trying to pass this stuff off as edible? Then it occurred to me, if I'm going to be a vegetarian, why would I spend my days trying to fill the void of meat with things that are mechanically manipulated to resemble meat....but aren't meat? That's when the light went on and I had a moment of clarity. If I'm going to be a vegetarian, I am going to own it, dammit!! That being said, there is ONE exception to my rule which is perfectly acceptable, in fact, logical, natural and holds true to my new found belief. I can and should use foods that have naturally occurring "meatiness" to them....that level of savoriness that's comforts the craving that results from years of focusing my meals around meat. One example, mushrooms. Umami.

The stock in this dish is one of the shining stars. To me, it's important. You can use regular vegetable stock and get a great dish. That is certain. But the "over the top" version will have the mushroom stock. You can buy it in stores but it's not always available. You'd have to check higher end markets and find it there. Or you can just make it on your own. Hell, if you're gonna do it, jump in head first and do it right, man. 

Like many of my other recipes, this is the Doctor Frankenstein approach to cooking. It's made up of the bits and pieces that I liked from about 10 other recipes. One of which was a recipe I wrote several years ago for chicken pot pie. Some of that recipe still applies even though it's all veg. 

To give you a little more of the story, after I finished the dish, my wife and I sat down for dinner. I explained to her that I didn't put chunks of mushrooms in the pie. So we sat and ate. I asked her if she liked it. She said: "Yes, it's really good". After we finished our meals and I looked over at her plate. I could do nothing more but smile and think of how much I truly loved her. She had picked out all of the potatoes. 

Vegetable Pot Pie

Ingredients: 

• 1 1/3 cups vegetable shortening, chilled

• 4 2/3 cups all purpose flour, DIVIDED

• 4 tsp salt, DIVIDED

• 1/2 tsp thyme, dried

• 1/2 tsp  rosemary, dried leaves, chopped

• 1 cup water, ice cold

• 2 Tbsp unsalted butter

• 1 bulb fennel

• 1/2 medium onion, diced

• 3 medium carrots, diced

• 2 stalks celery stalks, peeled and thinly sliced

• 2 medium potatoes, diced

• 2 1/2 cups mushroom stock

• 1 1/2  cups milk

• 1/2 tsp black pepper

• 1/4 tsp celery seed

• 1 cup peas

• 1/4 cup chives, fresh, chopped

• 1/4  cup Italian parsley

• 1 Tbsp white vinegar

• 1 egg, beaten

Preparation:

1. Measure out the vegetable shortening and put it in the freezer to chill.

2. Preheat the oven to 425 F.

3. Put 4 cups of the flour into a mixing bowl along with 2 teaspoons of the salt, thyme and the rosemary. Mix to combine.

4. To the flour mixture, add the chilled shortening in 1 to 2 tablespoon dollops to break in it up. Then, using a pastry blender, cut the shortening into the flour until the shortening forms pea sized balls.

5. Then add the ice water, a quarter cup at a time, and mix until the a dough forms. Mix just long enough to form the dough but no longer. Divide the dough in two halves, cover the bowl with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

6. Meanwhile, melt the butter over a medium high heat in a heavy bottomed pot. I use a dutch oven. Once the butter is melted, add the fennel, onion, carrots and celery and cook until just soft, about 4 minutes. Then add the potatoes and cook, stirring occasionally, for about 6 minutes. TIP: If the ingredients begin to stick to the bottom of the pan, add about a 1/2 cup of water to help stop that.

7. Sprinkle the remaining 2/3 cup of flour over the vegetable mixture, stir to coat, and cook until the raw flavor is gone, about 1 to 2 minutes.

8. Slowly add the stock and the milk, stirring constantly until the mixture is smooth. Bring to a simmer over medium heat and cook until slightly thickened, about 5 minutes.

9. Remove from the heat and add the peas, chives, parsley and the vinegar. Add the remaining two teaspoons of salt. But as always, you can use as much or as little of the salt as you desire.

10. Take your dough from the refrigerator and roll out 1 half of the dough on a floured surface. Make sure it larger enough to cover the bottom of your pan. I use a 9 by 12 baking dish so try to find comparable in size. Spray the pan with cooking spray and then line the bottom of the pan with the rolled out dough, making sure you also line the walls of the pan. Turn your filling into the dough lined pan and distribute evenly.

11. Roll out the second half or your dough thick enough to cover the top and place it over the top of your filling, crimping it with your fingers to the bottom half of the dough.

12. Whisk the egg in a bowl and brush the dough with the egg. Then cut slits in to dough top to vent. Place the baking dish in the oven until the crust is golden brown and the the filling is bubbling, about 30 to 35 minutes.

13. Let stand for 5 to 10 minutes and serve.

Servings: 9

Mushroom Stock:

Ever So Magical

Let me start this post with something corny. What did one mushroom say about the other mushroom?........"He's a fungi to be with."  Ba Dum Tshhhh!

Now get up off the floor from laughing so hard. Really. It wasn't that funny. What's the matter with you?

Mushrooms. What can I say about mushrooms....ummmm....they rock. Plain and simple. However, they are the subject of epic battles between my better half and I. She does not prefer them, to say the very, VERY least. In fact, "does not prefer" doesn't quite capture her true feelings about them. A better illustration might involve a photo of her (cute) crinkled nose, squinted eyes, her tongue hanging out, coupled with this sound: "Blechh!" However, for me, as a now vegetarian and former meat freak, the hearty flavor they impart always seems to satisfy that crave for something "meaty". I dunno, let's call it umami. Yeah, that's a good word for it. Hence, they're essential in filling that gap. But who am I kidding? I loved them as a meat eater as well. I'm no stranger to a mushroom burger, let me assure you. 

The more I distance myself from the world of prepackaged and processed foods, the more I enjoy exploring the world of scratch cooking. For example, you can use canned stock for any dish that calls for stock. And store-bought stock is fine, it'll get you there. But the problem with that is that you never really have a true understanding of your creation. I mean from the ground up. It's missing that extra little bit of love that the dish deserves. You see, each and every dish you make will soak in all the love you can give it. It'll add that element of freshness to your meal. Of personal satisfaction. A certain sense of accomplishment. And the best part of the whole thing is that all the love you put into it is only on loan. Trust me. At the dinner table, you'll get every bit of it back. I think McCartney said it best: "In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make". Not sure if he was talking about mushroom stock but, hey, stranger things have happened, right? 

This is my personal hybrid of about 20 different recipes. It's a great combo of all ingredients. However, as with any recipe, you should feel free to fool around with it all.  Especially the mushrooms. You may question why I only use button and crimini mushrooms (which I understand are basically the same vegetable). And that's valid. In this recipe I used a half and half combo of crimini and white button mushrooms. Why? First of all, I'm whimsical, unpredictable, and most desirably enigmatic. In fact, I'm downright irresistible. But you already knew this. And if, perchance, you didn't already know, read this post again, at which time you will have read this post already and, therefore, already know. What? I'm confusing me.

Secondly, I'm not a multi-millionaire. Let's face it, shrooms ain't cheap. You can get just where you need to be by using the common mushroom. If you want to add shiitake, portabella, porcini, enoki, oyster, morel, etc, by all means, go ahead. It's your thang. But to spend $20 bucks on two quarts of stock might be a bit pricey for most folk (such as myself). I like the $10 dollar range a tad bit better.

Mushroom Stock

Ingredients: 

• 3 Tbsp olive oil
• 2 medium carrots, peeled and diced
• 1 leek, halved lengthwise, rinsed, and sliced crosswise into 1-inch pieces (white and pale green parts only)
• 1 medium yellow onion, large dice
• 1 rib celery, chopped
• 6 clove garlic, crushed
• 2 pounds white/crimini mushrooms, quartered
• 6 Italian parsley sprigs, chopped
• ¼ cup fresh chives, chopped
• 3 sprigs fresh rosemary (2 tsp dried rosemary)
• 1 tsp dried thyme
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 tsp black peppercorns
• 1 tsp salt
• ½ cup Marsala wine
• 12 cups water

Preparation:

1. Heat the oil in a large heavy bottomed pot over a medium heat until shimmering. Add the carrots, leek, onion, and celery. Stir frequently until onions and leeks are softened, about 8 minutes. Add the garlic and cook, stirring occasionally, until fragrant, about 1 minute. 

2. Add the mushrooms, parsley, chives, rosemary, thyme, bay leaf, peppercorns and salt and cook, stirring occasionally, until the mushrooms start to release some moisture, about 4 minutes. 

3. Add the Marsala and cook until evaporated, about 5 minutes. 

4. Add the water and bring to a boil. Drop the heat and simmer until the stock is reduced to 8 cups, approximately 1 hour to an 1 hour and 20 minutes. Strain the stock, preferably using a chinois. If not, line a strainer with cheese cloth and strain the liquid. Press the solids with large spoon to extract the final liquids / flavor. 

Yield: 8 cups