Chinese Fried Rice:

Meet My New Girlfriend, Her Name Is Maggi

When I eat at a Chinese restaurant, there are certain things that I look for that determine if I will go back. In my experience, the most difficult thing for these establishments to nail has always been fried rice. A lot of the time, the main dishes are pretty good and the chow mein is pretty good. But most of the time the rice is crap. 

From my perspective, fried rice is the most important component of any combo dish found at  a Chinese restaurant. And let me rant briefly in saying that a "combo plate" at ANY Chinese restaurant should consist of rice, chow mein, and a main dish. Not rice OR chow mein. Rice AND chow mein. Yes, I'm talking to you, generic Chinese restaurant owner!!! Both!!! It's like telling me I can either put salt or pepper on my dish but not both. It's doesn't make sense. A proper Chinese combo should have both. 

But who am I? Right? I am at the mercy of the proprietor. And so it shall be.   

I remember when I was in high school, there was Chinese hole in wall type place close by. It was about 4 blocks from my school so it was easy to get to for lunch. There were always lines of people trying to get to this place. Most likely that was partially because I was always in there at lunch time but mostly because the food kicked ass. It was an "open kitchen" style set up where you could see the chefs actually making the food. It wasn't anything intentional or fancy, it was mostly because that's was the way the building was set up structurally. 

I would always order a side of rice for lunch. I loved it with the egg, peas, carrots and scallions. From what I have been able to gather, this is not necessarily "authentic". But it's what you find pretty much across the board in standard American Chinese restaurants. So as far as I'm concerned, we can call it authentic American Chinese. It deserves that respect. 

The fried rice at this place, as with many others (but not the majority), had a distinct flavor profile that I could never quite put my finger on. I really loved it and I've searched the internet for years looking for this flavor. Then, one day, quite recently actually, I came across a dish that called for Maggi seasoning. I've seen this stuff around for years but never really had the occasion to buy it. But this other recipe I found called for it so I figured it was high time I just bought it and saw what the all hype was about. 

This is definitely huge part of that profile I've been looking for. This recipe is simple and it's fantastic. It is a hardcore staple in my (American) Chinese recipe collection and will remain there until I kidnap (temporarily) a Chinese chef and make him (or her) show me how to perfect that damn rice. Until then, this one will not only do, it'll be a hit.

Fried Rice


Ingredients: 

• 1 1/2 Tbsp peanut oil, divided
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 Tbsp sesame oil
• 1/2 Tbsp chili oil
• 1 cup frozen peas and carrots
• 2 cups day old rice - refrigerator cold
• 1 Tbsp Maggi Seasoning or to taste 
• 1-2 green onions, sliced on a bias

Preparation: 

1. Heat 1/2 Tbsp of the peanut oil in a wok over a medium-high heat. 

2. While your oil is heating, scramble the eggs in a bowl. 

3. Once the wok is hot, add eggs and fry. Roll eggs around the wok to create a thin omelette.  Once done, remove omelette from wok and set aside. Use your spatula to chop the omelette into 1 inch chunks. 

4. Place remaining peanut oil along with the sesame and chili oils on the wok over a high heat. When oils and wok are hot, add the peas and carrots. Stir fry for about 2 minutes stirring constantly.

5. Add the rice and stir fry over the high heat, stirring constantly for about 2 minutes. 

6. Add the Maggi Seasoning and continue to stir fry for another 2-3 minutes, again stirring constantly.

7. Add the eggs and green onions. Stir to combine and remove from heat. 

Serves: 4

The New and Improved "Classic" Bloody Mary:

Look!   Up in the Sky!   It's A Drink, It's a Meal!!!

Since I just recently made Penne Alla Vodka, I had a whole bunch of vodka left over that was burnin' a hole in my pocket. I'm actually not much of a hard alcohol drinker. My first choice would be a nice box..err..I mean bottle of wine. However, on occasion and in the spirit of camaraderie, I'll imbibe in a shot or two. But once in a blue moon, I get a hankerin' for a good cocktail. The only requirement, and it's not too much to ask I don't think, is it has to be made right. 

Ooh! Epiphany. Maybe that's why I don't drink cocktails. Maybe I've had too many crappy ones, and believe me, I've had some REALLY crappy ones. It's a cryin' shame that there are so many bartenders out there that can't put together a decent drink. That being said, I guess I'd better a least build an acceptable one myself. 

    

My family on my mother's side is Canadian. In the Great White North, they don't drink Bloody Marys. They drink Bloody Caesars also simply referred to as a Caesar. It's essentially a Bloody Mary however it's made with clamato juice instead of tomato juice. When my family visits or vice versa, it's Bloody Caesars from noon until the wee small hours of the morning. Holy crap it is a party. And it not just a cocktail, it's an art. From the first ingredient to the last, there is a method. Even down to the order in which you add everything. If you put the lemon juice in before you put the pepper, you messed it up. What? 

The awesome thing about them is that they can party until 2 or 3 in morning and then be up 7 am and out mowing the lawn and gardening. I can't do it. I'm peeping out from behind the blinds, cross-eyed, at 9:30 am, hoping they don't see me. Then about an hour later, I stroll out and say hello. These folks are all chipper, smiling and have already gotten all the chores done, been grocery shopping, paid the bills, and whatever else you can think of. I'm in sheer awe of the partying professionalism they display every time I have the pleasure of seeing them. 

Before I became a vegetarian, I was the (self appointed) official Canadian Caesar representative here in United States. But alas, no more clamato for me. But it's totally cool. I have always loved Caesar's American sister Mary. And she's no different. She is also a work of art if done right. 

I my humble opinion, a perfect Bloody Mary has substance. It's not thick but it possesses the illusion of chewiness. I like mine spicy. In fact a little extra spicy is nice. And it's gotta be just a little bit salty. 

Worcestershire is an absolute must. But as most of you already know, Worcestershire has anchovies in it. So you're gonna have to do a bit of homework. I found a good vegan one at Whole Foods. If there's no Whole Foods in your area, try upper-end markets that carry organic and vegan products. Otherwise, there's always the good old internet. I use a brand called Wan Ja Shan. It's actually pretty good. And if you like Worcestershire, order 2 or more bottles because it'll save you money in shipping (on average price per bottle). Some recipes say a splash of Worcestershire. I say more than a splash. I want it bold. But you can be the judge. 

Hopefully I have created a good balance here with this recipe. Enjoy.  

Bloody Mary

Ingredients:

• Ice
• 1/4 tsp black pepper     
• 1/2 tsp celery salt
• 1 Tbsp hot sauce such as Tabasco
• 1 Tbsp + another quick splash of vegetarian Worcestershire sauce - I use Wan Ja Shan
• juice from 1/2 lemon
• 1 splash of brine from a cocktail olive or pickled green beans jar (optional) 
• 2 oz. vodka (3 oz. if you want to get hammered) 
• 8 oz. tomato juice or vegetable juice such as V8
• for garnish: cocktail olives, pickled green beans, celery stalks, lemon slices

Preparation: 

1. Fill a cocktail shaker 2/3 full with ice

2. Add pepper, celery salt, hot sauce, Worcestershire, lemon juice, and brine (if you are using it)

3. Add vodka and tomato juice. Cover and shake.

4. Pour into glasses over ice and garnish as desired. 

Serves: 2

Penne Alla Vodka

Penne Alla Vodka:

You Won't Get Drunk, Don't Worry

Honestly, the thought of pouring vodka over noodles has always sounded kinda gross. Okay, okay, I know you don't actually pour it over the noodles. And I know you're supposed to cook the sauce first. I also know the alcohol "cooks off" but I still always thought there would be a freaky vodka-like grossness to the remaining dish. As much as I know inside that I "know" about cooking, I also realize I don't know the first thing about cooking. That's what is so cool about it: There is ALWAYS something new to learn. Always.

It reminds me of the old critically acclaimed film Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (circa 1989) where they quoted Socrates. Funny how you learn cool stuff through stupid stuff. Or am I just stupid? Jury's out on that one. Anywho, the quote is as follows: "The only true wisdom is knowing that you know nothing". And if you KNOW that, you will learn everything you possibly can.
  

So a few years back, we were in an a local Italian restaurant for dinner before heading out to a blues show we had tickets for. My wife ordered the pasta with vodka sauce. I figured I could order my choice off the menu and then try her dish to see if I liked it. If I did great but if I didn't, I could say "Haha, mines is good, yours is gross". Then I could eat mine slowly with my eyes shut, all the while going "Mmmm, this is so tasty. Bet you wish you ordered this. What did you get again? Oh yeah vodka sauce. Ewww. Bet it's gross." 

I wouldn't have really done that. 

But as it turns out, the dish was actually very good. In fact, I kinda loved it. And bless her heart because she didn't close her eyes and tell me how much better hers was than mine. Note to self: Grow up Justin.

Since then, I've grown to love the dish. I've had it on several occasions since and thought it was about time I figured this thing out. My findings were rather cool. This dish is actually super easy to make and the results are equally as good. 

My wife (for the purposes of this blog, let's just call her Kris, mostly because at birth, her parents named her Kris) has a huge problem with me when we entertain. I have this uncontrollable urge to make the best food ever for my guests. Unreasonable?  No. However, the downfall to it is that I tend to spend too much time in the kitchen cooking for my guests instead of hanging out with them on the patio or in the pool like a good host should. Amateur? Probably. But I'm a perfectionist and would rather have them enjoy my "artistic capabilities" rather than my mediocre company. The fact is, I run my dinner parties like a restaurant. She's front of the house, I'm back of the house. She the hostess, I'm the chef.  But as usual, she's right. I should make stuff like Penne Alla Vodka that's quick and delicious and call it good.

That being said, this is perfect for guests because it doesn't require much cook time or prep. A small amount of mise en place is usually in order but, again, this one doesn't require much.

This recipe was inspired by The Pioneer Woman's version of this dish. 

 

Penne Alla Vodka

Ingredients:

• 1 pound box of penne pasta
• 2 Tbsp butter
• 2 Tbsp olive oil
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 shallots, finely chopped
• 3/4 cup vodka
• One 14 oz can of tomato puree (see hint below)
• 1 cup of heavy cream
• 1 tsp red pepper flakes
• 2 tsp salt, or to taste
• 1 tsp freshly ground black pepper, or to taste
• 2-3 Tbsp basil, cut chiffonade
• 3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese 

Preparation: 

1. Cook pasta per box directions. Do not overcook making sure to leave pasta al dente. Once done, reserve one cup of the cooking water then drain the noodles. 

2. Heat butter and olive oil in a large skillet over medium high heat. Add garlic and shallots and cook until soft, about 3 minutes. 

3. Add vodka to skillet and cook to reduce for 2 to 3 minutes, stirring frequently.

4. Add tomato puree and mix until completely combined. Then reduce heat to low.

5. Add the cream and stir to combine.

6. Then stir in the red pepper flakes, salt, black pepper, and basil.

7. Finally, add the noodles and Parmesan and toss to combine all. 

Serves 4

Hint: The first two ingredients listed on most tomato puree cans are: Tomato paste, water.
If you can't find the tomato puree, buy a 14 oz can of tomato paste and add water to it until you reach a consistency somewhere between tomato paste and tomato sauce. The plus side to this? Tomato paste is half the cost of puree. Why would a product that's twice as concentrated cost half the price of the diluted version? Somebody is seeing someone coming from a mile away. Shhhh. Save yourself some money and stick it to the man!